The Bible on Caresses

The Bible frequently mentions caresses as proper and beautiful expressions of love. Christian men of the Bible often are said to have kissed one another. We suppose such a kiss was on the cheek. The noblest men in some European countries embrace one another and kiss each other on the cheek as an expression of love or admiration. So they did in Bible times. So Jacob kissed his father Isaac (Gen. 27:27). So Jacob and Esau kissed each other (Gen. 33:4). So Joseph kissed his brethren (Gen. 45:15). So Jonathan and David kissed one another (I Sam. 20:41). So David kissed his son Absalom (II Sam. 14:33). So Absalom kissed the men of Israel and stole away their hearts from King David (II Sam. 15:5).

Among New Testament Christians, the embrace and the kiss were frequently used as an expression of brotherly love. A most touching scene is that described when Paul came to Miletus, and there gathered to meet him were the elders of the church at Ephesus. Paul perceived that he would never see them again, so they fell upon Paul's neck and kissed him, did these godly men, with tears (Acts 20:37). And five times in the New Testament, Chris­tians are commanded to salute or greet one another with a holy kiss, or the kiss of brotherly love (Rom. 16:16; I Cor. 16:20; II Cor. 13:12; I Thess. 5:26; I Pet 5:14). We suppose that in most cases, if not in all cases, it was intended that Christian men should greet Christian men with a kiss, and Christian women should greet Christian women so. But at least we are to understand that caress­es and affection were encouraged, with proper conventions. They are the normal expressions of loving hearts when under proper safeguards.

Under the safeguard of ties of blood, the kiss between men and women is often proper -for example, the kiss of father and daughter. So Laban kissed his married daughters, and his grand­children (Gen. 31:55). Jacob kissed his cousin Bachel (Gen. 29: 11). No doubt that first kiss was on the basis of kinship. Yet from that day they seemed to love one another and later married. Thus we see that strong bonds of natural affection, safeguarded by char­acter and the sense of responsibility, make kisses proper between father and daughter, mother and son, and in other cases where there are strong ties of blood and where sex attraction would be properly curbed.

The Saviour seems to have been pleased with the affection of John, the apostle who put his head on Jesus' breast He was also greatly pleased when a poor fallen woman who came to Him for forgiveness kissed His feet repeatedly, wept over Him and then dried His feet with the hair of her head (Luke 7:36-50).

It has long been the custom in some circles when a godly pastor reads the marriage ceremony for a bride who has grown up in iiis church, that he should give her a kiss of congratulation and love, a chaste kiss upon the cheek as a father might. Surely in cases of long friendship, the pastor who may have led to Christ and baptized the little girl, now grown to womanhood, might without offense or wrong so express his love and well wishes. And so might others, in reverence, be blameless about such a caress. I remember when long years ago I went to the Army during World War I and a godly woman kissed me on the cheek in the place of the mother who had long before gone to Heaven. Under proper safeguards and obeying sensible conventions, caresses may be proper and good.

I am saying that caresses ought to be beautiful and blessed, they ought to come from the heart, they ought never to lead us wrong but make us richer and happier and stronger to do right.

But since caresses are intended to be holy and beautiful things, they should be safeguarded like all holy things. The story of drunken Lot committing incest with his two daughters shows that when alcohol breaks down the natural restraints of parental love, caresses may be shameful. The story of Amnon, his love and shameful rape of his half sister, Tamar (II Sam. 13:1-14), shows that even between brother and sister there needs to be a propr reserve to avoid temptation and sin. The truth is, of course, that wicked and licentious men or women may make unholy and vile that which ought to be sweet and noble and pure.