Steps to Getting Back Together after a Break up

A break-up, irrespective of whether you were dumped overnight or a result of a meticulously planned mutual decision (at a time which didn’t seem right) has the potential to be quite harrowing and disorienting. The yearning for a lost sweetheart and the bittersweet memories of the association can tug a few strings on the toughest hearts. Here are a few proven techniques through which you can successfully get back to your ex after a break up.

1. Don’t ever say bad things about your ex and give a graphic account of your relationship and facts that made you both head straight to spits vile. Show maturity, restrain and a composed disposition even if you were the wronged party. It goes a long way to show your values and the fact that you still respect your ex and the relationship that the two of you shared.

2. After the initial ‘cooling off’  period when you’ve both given  yourselves  enough  time and space to get over the mess, make an attempt to strike an honest conversation with your ex. Communication is the key to get your relationship back on the track. It can be as simple as a non intrusive text message or a phone call just to “hi”. Don’t get mushy, possessive and too pushy or it may send the other person running for cover in the opposite direction. Remember you aren’t a couple anymore, so don’t stake your lost claim at every given opportunity. Start to build a genuine friendship. Don’t get accusatory about things that happened in the past. Try to comprehend the reasons that led to the break up and how you can work to overcome them this time around. Talk to your ex about things that you like him/her to do for you without sounding like you are building too many expectations. “Hey I would really appreciate if we could spend more time together”. It has to casual and not commanding.

3. Do things that you enjoyed doing at the start of your relationship. Eating out at your favourite restaurant, skiing together, visiting his/her favourite hangout joint can bring back pleasant memories that can trigger the right love hormones and pave the way for your cosy twosome once again. Initially, you can go out with a group of common friends to break the ice.

4. Be genuinely apologetic. If you are the one who have made a mistake in the past, show sensitivity and understanding and pay attention to the minute details that may put your ex off once again. Give him/her some time to start from where the two of you left. Don’t expect immediate affection and an overt demonstration of love. Respect the decision of the other person and be patient. It will help you gain huge brownie points with your ex. The key is to appear secure in a renewed friendship rather than insecure in trying to desperately build a flagged relationship.

I hope these tricks will help you spot the rainbow in your otherwise cloudy love-life. All the best and have fun together.