Avoiding Online Dating Pitfalls

Most people mistake online dating as simply, click and date...The truth is, online dating is much more than just clicking and meeting an individual who's profile looks too good to be true.

Many women try online dating for a practical joke...they are not serious, when they try it out; the effort made is half measures at best. The key is to make a full fledged effort to succeed.

Another online blunder is thinking men will approach you is wrong. Your "Mr. Right" is not going to come out of thin air. You need to make an effort to contact the type of man that meets your ideal. Read profiles and narrow down candidates that fit your vision of the "right man". Be bold and contact men - don't wait like a wall flower.

Make sure to communicate well - writing one liner messages like, "see my profile" and think that people will contact you just doesn't work. Write and attempt to bring out the writer/poet in you. Paint words into pictures that will capture the imagination of men and that will attract them want to meet you.

A great mistake is to send out "form letters" -- like direct mailers. This is an insult to any educated person's intelligence. Personalize the mails-make it specific to the person you are writing to. Remember this is an attempt to find Mr. Right not an exercise in answering circulars. Ideally, letters should be conversations where one discovers each other through words.

Making maximal use of the membership by contacting men at random-the idea is to use the money paid to the fullest. Think what is that you really want---correspond with many men or find the one you want to cultivate /build a relationship with.

Take the time to read all the profiles that fit your list of "The Ideal Man," then narrow down a list of a select few-write to these, wait until they answer, try and find out as much as you can about them and then if you still have not found anyone start the process all over again.

Don't write a haphazard profile and using a randomly selected photo. It is a mistake not to submit a photo with your profile. There are men out there who never contact a woman they cannot see. When you don't include a photo, most people assume you have something to hide. According to sites people who post photos get ten times more contacts than those that don't. Use a recent photo and one that flatters you. If you can, have a professional take the photo. Don't post sleazy photo of yourself unless you're looking for a sleazy relationship! Choose a nice, natural photo of yourself don't use one that includes other people. The main photo should be a "head and shoulders" one - a close up. If the site allows more than one photo, then you can be more adventurous include, full length shots, pets, kids, and so on.

Tips on Choosing Your Online Photo:

· If you don't have any suitable recent photos, arrange to go out with friends. Relax and have fun. Get your friends to take lots of photos of you. Hopefully, you'll get at least one that you're happy to post.

· If you have a photo of yourself in a social environment, use that one. It will give a better impression than one of you seated on your sofa at home.

· Don't post photos of yourself looking unhappy, drunk, hung-over, lonely, or on a bad hair day!

· Avoid expensive accessories for your photo. It sends a high maintenance signal.

· If you want to post multiple photos, make sure that they're varied and interesting.

· Avoid multiple photos taken at the same time. Don't use it as an opportunity to demonstrate in six different ways how attractive you are. It should be an opportunity to convey the fact that you've got an interesting life.

· It's OK to change your photo from time to time if you come up with better ones, or if they get more than a year old.

· Even if a photo is a professional one make it look casual. Never wear high fashion garments or accessories.

Dating sites often give guidelines for posting photos. For example, Yahoo personal says, Do not post pictures if:

· You are not central in the photo.
· The picture is off focus/hazy.
· Does not convey an image of the "true you."
· Has too many people.
· The picture is old not current.

One must post photos that: have a smile, show your eyes clearly, and represent in no uncertain terms you as you are. The photograph must allow your personality to shine through.

Never use photos where you are dressed in skimpy clothes or are heavily made up-ones that make you look like a bimbo (unless that is what you are). Coming through as sexy with oomph is not going to get you what you desire.

A frequent online dating blunder is negativity---feeling that the whole exercise of online dating is a futile effort. Believe me, nine out of ten things don't work the first few weeks or months-it may even take a year.

Never be discouraged and give up-hope, patience, and persistence are what will get you to your goal. Pause a few days and take a look at "what needs correction" ---read through successful profiles and compare them to yours. Make changes in your profile as well as criteria of the "man" perhaps your list of musts is too stringent. Be flexible and you will meet many who may come up to your expectations.

Be open minded and friendly. There is a special person waiting for you -you just need to tread the right path.

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