How to Handle Being Turned Down

Romance is not always successful. Fairy tales and love stories are always buttering things up and are full of exaggerated, unrequited love. One thing's for sure, there are people who will befriend us, and others who will not.

The fact is, not everyone will find Mr. Perfect. Heck, there's no such thing as a perfect man. Just as we do not accept every man who comes along as Mr. Right, so also in the case of men, what we are may not be what they are seeking. Rejection is only a natural part of the dating scene. This being so "rejection" must be accepted as integral to dating and in the right spirit.

Easy steps that will help us cure rejection are:

· First admit that you are scared. And that you need to deal with the situation.

· Quantify the fear/shyness/self-doubt. Try and find out on a scale of 1-10 where your apprehensions stand.

· Confront the worst thing that could happen. Be it rejection, humiliation, or being made a fool of. Emotional or physical hurt is a part of loving.

· Cope with it in an organized and methodical way-say I am not going to let my mind/feelings pull me down. I am out to conquer.

· Join a support group. Go for counseling and deal with the situation.

· Don't be ashamed or inhibited to discuss your true feelings with family/friends /others in a similar situation.

· Use all available resources to conquer fear/self doubt.

· Set ego aside and stop believing "I am god's gift to men."
Handling heartbreak is not easy you need to gather yourself together and move on. Here are a few ways you can cope:
· Get it out of your system. Don't let emotions be bottled up inside and turn into resentment and bitterness.

· Cry, scream, vent your frustration at a dummy or hedge, and feel sorry for yourself as much as you want. Do so until there is no sadness left and you have worked the feeling of "rejection" out of your system.

· Focus on everyday activities. Take one step at a time. Let the future take care of itself.

· Give yourself space and time to heal. The biggest mistake would be to plunge in at once into another relationship.

· Take a deep breath and say I am going to look forward.

· Be positive, think happy thoughts, fill you day with activities and people so that you have no time to brood.

· Don't abandon hope -perhaps the man who rejected you was not the ideal man for you.

· Early rejection is better than heartbreak.

· Let not rejection become a fear be strong convince yourself, "I am a wonderful person."

· Join new interests or activities. Many hobbies are such that they are popular, which means you stand a good chance of making many friends.
Rejection hurts and makes one sad but misery will not get you anywhere-you must move on. I know it is hard as most women are vulnerable and suffer from the ‘pain' of rejection.
One way to handle the situation is to stop thinking less of yourself -being critical and seeking approval. This makes us open to rejection and hurt.
Accept this is what I am and I am proud of who I am.
Never blame yourself for being rejected. In fact try and think "too bad for him" he lost a wonderful caring woman.
Work out a rejection contingency plan--- believe me rejection can be a blessing in disguise.
· Anyone who does not appreciate you as a person is not worth it.

· A man who truly cares will not be critical of you -in fact he will appreciate you for who /what you are.

· A man must respect, admire, and value you. Anyone who thinks you are a doormat to be stepped on or bullied must be abandoned.

· A man who respects you will never try and change you or criticize you.

Think clearly, was the man who rejected you caring and considerate was he appreciative? If the answer is "No," then it is best he is out of your life.
Break ups can be agony even if the relationship is only a few days old. Whether a man or woman, whenever there is any doubt in your mind, it is best to make a clean break and not hang on to a relationship because you don't know how to say "I am sorry but this will not work."
The fact is, rejection is an essential part of the dating game. Unless, you meet the love of your life on your very first date, you'll need to meet several different suitors before you settle down.
Remember, you just cannot live life according to others you must live life for yourself and yourself only. If you set aside your needs and desires you will become an empty shell and be open to misunderstandings, unhappiness, as well as sorrow.
Believe me, you will bounce back to happiness like a rubber ball - all you need is belief in yourself.
If a person cannot love you or treat you as you are meant to be, no matter there are others who will - the world is such that there are others who will be just perfect for you.
Feel secure and confident within yourself - never feel dejected or let down.
Sharing your thoughts and feelings helps -talk about the rejection with someone close to you. Let all the feelings of hurt and resentment flush out of your system.
Move on with your life. Learn from your experience. Try and find out what went wrong-this will help you in future.
Try and answer -Why did I like him? What did I dislike? Also determine what he found likeable in you and why he decided to end the relationship.
You can prevent mistakes by being practical and analyzing things logically.
There are times in every woman's life when she may feel she is loosing the battle-she is never ever going to achieve her desires and goals. It does not mean that the battle is lost but that your self-esteem has touched rock bottom and needs a boost.

There are ways in which one can raise to great levels one's self-esteem-

· Never compare yourself to others-this enhances negativity. You are you and Marilyn Monroe will always be herself.

· Never put yourself down --- never take to heart negative comments or opinions passed by others about you personally or your skills, or abilities.

· Negativity is like a disease - it spreads quickly and will eat you up. Everyone makes mistakes-learn from them-- don't let them pull you down.

· Think positively-try and see the bright side to everything. It is not hard to do-- it is a conscious effort that you must make.

· Be gracious and accept compliments with happiness-if you yourself decide you do not deserve them then you are headed towards a low self-esteem.

· Learn how to praise/acknowledge your abilities.

· Join/learn about life coaching. There are good programs, workshops, and books that will help you raise your self-esteem and develop a positive attitude.

· Mix with positive and happy/supportive people. They will never influence you or your thinking in a negative way.

· Negative people will on the other hand, try and put you down every step of the way and shoot down your decisions/ideas.

· Strong and supportive people will make you feel better about yourself and help you raise your hopes, desires, and aspirations-raise your self esteem.

· Develop a positive, loving support network.

· Acknowledge that you are not perfect. Realize that along with negative qualities you do have positive qualities as well as skills.

· Appreciate what you have, treasure it-a glass must be viewed as half full not half empty.

· Never be bullied-voice as well as acknowledge your needs. Be tolerant of others but not a doormat.

· Limit yourself to the bare essentials-you too are an individual with needs.

· Try and help others in small ways and large-when you do this, you will start valuing yourself more and your confidence levels will grow significantly.

· Involve yourself in work and activities that you love.

Life is a "funny thing" -it rewards self-help and action. If you take up a challenge, then your self-esteem rises-backing away or avoiding challenges just means that you are letting your weakness grow.

If you are secure, then you will be able to:

· Laugh with others and at yourself.
· Be proud of who you are.
· Have a strong sense of self.
· Be emotionally stable.
· Not fear the future and what it holds.
· Never be intimidated.
· Be comfortable and at ease in any situation.

Live life to the fullest.

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