Risks and Online Dating Safety Conventions

With the anonymity of online dating, one must be really aware of the risks involved with meeting a total stranger. Use precaution when meeting someone new and never get carried away. Use good judgment and be cautious of the individuals you meet.

· Do not believe everything you read online. People tend to lie about their age, size, children, occupation and more. Be cautious and try and vet a person you like as much as possible. Humans have a natural tendency to create fantasies.

· Never reveal your personal details-addresses, workplace address, phone numbers, banking details and so on. Always set up a separate e-mail account for online dating or use the anonymity provided by the sites. It is safer or you will be placing yourself in danger.

· Try not to jump the gun and rush into a relationship. Be tough and contain your enthusiasm-even if he is perfect, he can wait until you are sure. Look out for inconsistencies in answers to questions, or if a person is hiding facts about himself. Don't be blinded by the concept of being in love.

· Ensure cyber safety-read about it and be sure to implement it. Even when you decide to speak on the phone never give your personal numbers to anyone -even if you feel they are dependable.

· If you are uncomfortable or being troubled by anyone online report them to the dating site. Immediately close your e-mail ids and avoid going online for a few days. Try and protect your self as best as possible.

· Look out for members who use inappropriate language or photographs.

· Avoid anyone who is intimidating or threatening.

· Watch out for duplicity.

· Be vigilant about any man who displays: anger, frustrations, domination, controlling behaviors, obsessions and so on. Read about such traits and why they are not suitable in a man you want to date.

· When you decide to meet in person do so in a public place; take a friend along; always leave a note for the family stating where you are going and with whom; arrange for a family member or friend to call you during your date; it is safer to have your own transportation; never allow a stranger into your home.

Before joining any dating site ensure:

· They have a privacy policy in place.
· That the code of ethics of the site is in place.
· The terms and conditions are such that they take action against inappropriate/criminal behavior.
· That they have standards for language as well as photographs-vulgarity is not acceptable.
· Their customer service and support is the best in the industry.

Safety concerns /guidelines are for your own good-know about them and be sure to practice them. Avoid large chat rooms and ones that do not have any rules or monitoring.

Red Flags must always be kept in mind. It is for your own protection.

· Look out for warning signs like displays of: anger, extreme frustration, attempts to pressurize you, a controlling nature, aggressiveness, whining nature. Be wary of men who make demeaning or disrespectful comments.

· Avoid liars-those who provide inconsistent information of age, interests, appearance, marital status, profession, financial status and so on.

· Beware of men who blow hot and cold-establish online contact and then avoid phone calls or hedge.

· Be vigilant of those who avoid answering questions or do not give direct answers.

· Watch out for men whose online persona is at variance from his actual persona.

· Never trust men who avoid introducing you to friends, colleagues, family members-who try and hide their relationship to you. Those who pretend you don't exist if they meet someone they know when they are with you.

· Question any man who posts an outdated photograph or a photo of someone else.

· He is not clear about why he states separated as status-is unwilling to give details.

· He is obsessed with the physical attributes of women-and keep emphasizing that, watch out he may be just trying for casual sex.

· Men who state that they seek a discrete relationship-is probably cheating on his wife.

· Talks about sex without even knowing you-seems obsessed by it.

· Tries to get personal details too soon and too anxiously--- could be a stalker.

· A man who is difficult to get on the phone and if you ring him randomly you can hear female voices in the background-the man may be in a relationship and looking for more.

· A man who asks for financial help or seeks information about money. Or offers to invest on your behalf.

· Is too anxious to know about your wealth and possessions.

· Shows signs of insecurity, loneliness, resentment towards others, or rejection. Such men will be difficult and hard to be happy with-they will squeeze you for their own emotional security.

· Men who are self obsessed-think of themselves only and not of others. Hard to live with as they will show no consideration or respect for women.

Be sensible and realistic-don't expect to meet prince charming on the very first day. For every perfect man there will be hundreds of imperfect ones. Look for compatibility not to being swept off your feet.

Before you start making contact consider geography - are you prepared to fly out to meet Mr. X -- is it realistic to begin along distance friendship/relationship? Think, what are my limitations? How far am I prepared to go? Believe me, common sense and instincts can be your two greatest allies.

Always keep your wits and instincts about you. Never float on a cloud-dreams can quickly turn into nightmares. Be sexually responsible and never agree to anything you are not sure about or comfortable with.

Dating is not a risk-free zone-a little bit of vigilance can prevent heartache.

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